Haiku for you

I love poetry. I can explicate it well. I understand it.

I don't know if I can write poetry well, but I think after my Advanced Poetry Workshop this semester, I will have built a foundation as strong as steel (Hey-o, poetic simile).

I dislike Haiku. I don't know what makes it good. I just don’t get it.

The basis of Haiku is to capture single moments at a time, without any rhyme scheme and typically involve nature in some form while writing three lines stacked on top of one another with syllable counts of 5-7-5.

The simplistic form of Haiku also inspires drunken recitals while belting out our drunken Long Duck Dong accents (or for those of you too young to know “Sixteen Candles,” think Mr. Chow from “The Hangover”), which is the wrong nation’s accent.

In fact, you have already read two Haiku. Did you catch that?

This is why Haiku irk me. The simple idea of Haiku causes an endless saturation in the poetry realm because it is so easy for people to come up with Haiku off the tops of their head, although not with any kind of success

For instance, this is the following conversation (via text) I had with my friend Michael at 6 am about him getting a dog and while I was I was ending an all-nighter of homework and feeling loopy.

Me: “Top Gun was robbed for the Best Original Song Oscar for, “Playing With the Boys”

Michael: "What are you doing up so early?"

Me: "Who said I went to bed? What are you doing up?"

Michael: "Thinking about drinking all day. A wise man once said, if you are going to drink all day, you have to start early. What are you doing now?"

Me: "Writing a Haiku"

Michael: "Need Help?"

Twenty seconds go by

Me: Help is not needed 

I strive on my own prowess

Continue to drink

It took me just moments to think of it in a 5-7-5 form and capture the moment. Haiku accomplished.

Michael: "I'm not drinking yet!"

Me: The day is short Mike

Take advantage while you can

Intoxication

Again, twenty seconds or so is all it took. Ok, 30 seconds because I had to count my fingers twice to make sure Intoxication was in fact five syllables.

Michael: "You're an idiot" (somehow I think he knew I was counting on my fingers)

Me: This will annoy my friends 

Sending texts in Haiku form

Alas, I care not

I was on fire. 

Michael: "So there's a slight chance I might be adopting a pit boxer mix puppy"

Me: That scares me to death

You neglect yourself sometimes

Poor pooch will suffer

Me: If you took "so" and "puppy" out, that last text is a Haiku

Michael: "Yup, that didn't take long to get on my nerves ...." 

I guess I am not the only one irked by Haiku.